Experiencing the Sad Demise of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Endure
Losing a mother is a profound experience that can leave individuals feeling overwhelmed and lost. However, there are ways to cope and find solace during this difficult time.
Keeping up with traditions from your mother or starting your own can help ease the burden of loss. Offering maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can also be a meaningful part of their grief journey. It's important to remember that maternal support can come from various figures, not just blood relatives.
Research has shown that women who experience the loss of a mother are more likely to binge drink, have a greater decline in self-esteem, and have a lower level of personal mastery. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness as normal emotions in the year following parental loss.
Focusing on happy memories, such as pictures, books, or keepsakes, can provide comfort during the grieving process. Honoring a mother's memory can take many forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving personal goals she aspired for.
Loss can mean more than clinical symptoms and may include feelings of losing an important part of your support system, regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge, and strained relationships with family members. In such cases, local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance.
Extreme grief for more than a year or difficulty completing daily tasks may indicate a need for professional help. Parental loss has been linked with depression and a compromised sense of self in young adults. A 2021 study found that the death of a mother can have more negative effects on daughters than on sons.
Grief is linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure, according to a study. It's crucial to prioritise self-care and seek medical attention if necessary.
For those seeking guidance during the grieving process, books like "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual", "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss", and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" may offer helpful insights.
Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment and not dwell on emotional thoughts, can help manage painful memories related to the loss of a mother. If the grief is becoming unbearable and one is considering self-harm or suicide, help is available immediately through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, or Befrienders Worldwide.
One expert in the field of trauma and grief research is Marianne Leuzinger-Bohleber, a Swiss psychoanalyst active with the Sigmund-Freud-Institut in Germany. She can be contacted via the Sigmund-Freud-Institut in Frankfurt am Main. Related research on transgenerational trauma and support projects are conducted at the institution.
In conclusion, coping with the loss of a mother is a unique and personal journey. It's important to remember that it's okay to seek help and support during this time. Whether it's from friends, family, support groups, mental health professionals, or self-help resources, there are many avenues to find comfort and healing.
