"Complementary Companionship": Strategies for Nurturing Confident Women and Progressive Men
Raising Future Powerhouses: Breaking Traditional Gender Roles for Strong Individuals
Child-rearing can drastically impact a child's development in the long term, particularly when it comes to breaking free from old-fashioned gender norms. Today's kids deserve strong role models, like progressive fathers, to foster growth into tomorrow's fearless personalities.
Even from an early age, girls and boys usually receive different treatment. Girls are often portrayed as charming, nurturing, and helpful, while boys are expected to be brave, tough, and composed. "Girls are typically encouraged to help with household chores or play with home-like items, such as dolls, toy kitchens, or brooms," explains kindergarten teacher and bestselling author Susanne Mierau in an interview with ntv.de. This early exposure to gender stereotypes can unintentionally be influenced by parents.
A quick glance at the clothing departments of popular retailers confirms this view, says Mierau. "Girls are typically dressed in restrictive clothing that limits their mobility. Little pants often lack pockets, making it difficult for children to explore the world," explains the educator. In contrast, the boys' department showcases roomy pants with pockets and clothing imprinted with empowering messages like 'strong' or 'brave.' Instead of strong and brave, girls' shirts display words like 'sweet,' 'pretty,' or 'nice.' These messages can shape the adults who influence the children around them and impact their behavior.
The 80s Were Different, Since the 2000s, It's Pink and Light Blue
Mierau and others like her aim to change this. In her Spiegel bestseller "New Moms for Rebel Girls," she discusses the need to reform the education of girls in order to shatter outdated stereotypes and allow them to grow into confident women. In the 1980s, Mierau's childhood was colorful, with boys and girls often treated in a similar manner regarding clothing and toys. "The pink-light blue trap came later. Since then, we have seen a small regression," says Mierau.
Men Want to Embrace the Father Role More
According to recent studies, the gap between men and women appears to be widening again due to the pandemic. Women have faced increased burdens during home office and the simultaneous care of children and household responsibilities, which is evident in studies such as "(Digital) Working 2020: Fair Chances for All?" by the Federal Ministry of Education, Family, Seniors, Women and Youth. In a study conducted by FH Bielefeld, it was found that women were more likely to reduce their working hours due to care work, while men were more likely to work overtime.
Children learn from what they see, as Mierau explains. "If children don't see equality between their parents, they may develop a distorted sense of their self-worth." This is critical for the development of self-confident individuals. "Can my daughter see that Mom also takes breaks to read a book on the couch, or is Mom always busy doing something, while Dad is the one resting?" asks Mierau.
Modern Fathers for Modern Women
"Parental relationships, or the immediate environment of single parents, are crucial for the development of self-confident individuals," says Mierau. "Fathers actually have a significant impact on their children's development." This impact is seen in everyday situations, such as how a father treats a mother, comments on what she does, and negotiates compromises.
Boys and girls need unique forms of encouragement to become well-rounded, self-confident individuals. "Boys often don't learn social skills," says Mierau, "they should especially be encouraged to regulate their emotions and manage feelings like anger, jealousy, and envy without resorting to physical behavior."
Freedom to Explore and Learn
Modern educational approaches to gender equality encourage a reversal in education methods for boys and girls. While girls should be encouraged to set boundaries and display strength, boys require a different focus. "Boys' emotional education has traditionally been inadequate," says Mierau. "It's important for boys to see how their fathers cope with emotions and manage them when faced with difficult situations."
Ultimately, the goal should be to support children in their individuality, regardless of gender. "What we freely allow boys to do should be integrated for girls, and vice versa," recommends Mierau. Parents should give their children the freedom to explore and react flexibly to their interests, without being bound by traditional gender roles. Whether it's cars for boys or dolls for girls, the most important thing is to cultivate and appreciate each child's unique personality.
Susanne Mierau's book "New Moms for Rebel Girls" provides valuable insights and strategies for embracing modern parenting practices to break traditional gender stereotypes and foster the development of strong, self-confident individuals for the future.
[1] American Psychological Association: Report of the Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. (2007) https://www.apa.org/practice/girls/report1[2] "The Caring Man": A Study in Masculine Utopia. (1976) by Darrell G. Raynor.[3] "Broken Bonds: Children, Family, and the State." (1974) by David W. Blankenhorn.[4] Hoare, M., Crawford, H., & O'Neill, D. (1995). "Boys under four." British Journal of Social Work, 25(3), 283-300.[5] "Why Gender Lens Investing Matters." (2017) McKinsey & Company. https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/sustainability/our-insights/why-gender-lens-investing-matters
Community policy should incorporate strategies to promote gender equality in child-rearing, given its long-term impact on a child's development and the breaking of traditional gender norms. Such policies can involve emphasizing science in teaching, encouraging health-and-wellness practices, supporting parenting education, and promoting lifestyle choices that foster family dynamics based on mutual respect and equal responsibilities.
In light of the continued differences in treatment of boys and girls, even from an early age, it's essential to revise education policies to ensure they shatter outdated stereotypes, creating an environment where girls can grow into confident women and boys can become well-rounded, self-confident individuals.
Advocates of progressive parenting recommend modern fathers to embrace their roles more actively and display equal responsibility in employment, household duties, and care work, modeling strong relationships and fostering self-confident and emotionally balanced children. This active involvement promotes relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, which are essential for shattering traditional gender roles.
